1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:49,104 I don't know who you are, but thanks. I'm goin' this way. 4 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:51,422 You're comin' with us. 5 00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:58,614 Calamity Jane. 6 00:02:58,638 --> 00:03:01,766 All right, boys, wait outside. 7 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:04,536 Jane, I'm Governor Johnson. 8 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,997 This is commissioner of Indian Affairs, Mr. Emerson, 9 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,774 and his secretary, Mr. Martin. 10 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:13,671 I'll come right to the point. 11 00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:14,755 We staged that jailbreak. 12 00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:17,156 We wanted it to look as if your friends broke you out. 13 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:21,303 We have a job for you, Jane. A job which requires absolute secrecy. 14 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,847 How about that point you were comin' to? 15 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,601 A group of white renegades is smuggling guns to the Indians. 16 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,269 We've got to find out who they are 17 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:31,313 before we have an Indian war on our hands. 18 00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:33,941 Six months ago we sent out two of our best agents. 19 00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,175 Their bodies were found horribly mutilated. 20 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,945 We thought we'd send a woman... 21 00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:41,305 A woman who can take care of herself. 22 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,119 Like me, for instance? 23 00:03:44,143 --> 00:03:48,813 Yes, Jane. Like you. We need your help desperately. 24 00:04:01,701 --> 00:04:03,512 What's the price tag on this? 25 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:07,141 Jane, you're facing a jail sentence of ten years. 26 00:04:07,165 --> 00:04:08,392 You get those men for us, 27 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:11,103 and we'll give you a pardon... a full pardon. 28 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:16,275 Gentlemen, I'd like to go on record as saying we can't trust this... this... 29 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,844 Criminal? I think we can. 30 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,767 Here's proof of my confidence. 31 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:37,838 Well, that's mighty nice of you. 32 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,572 Reach. 33 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,013 Thanks for the drink, Governor. 34 00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:47,139 Jane, outside that window, there's no pardon. 35 00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:51,477 Unless you help us, the West will be drenched with the blood of white settlers. 36 00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:54,504 Thousands of lives. Women and children. 37 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,717 You could stand a little practice, son. 38 00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:04,639 I'll take a look at that pardon. 39 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:12,831 Keep talkin'. 40 00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,041 You'll take the stage tonight. 41 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:17,211 At Fort Deerfield, contact a lawyer named Jim Hunter. 42 00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:20,214 There's a wagon train going west. You'll both join it. 43 00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:21,132 Hunter will pose as your husband. 44 00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:24,551 As man and wife, you'll be lost in the crowd on that wagon train. 45 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,386 You'll get further instructions from Hunter. 46 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,996 We're depending on you, Jane. 47 00:05:29,622 --> 00:05:31,350 I'm depending on you. 48 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:35,670 And I wouldn't advise you to cross me up, gents. 49 00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:42,903 So she finally agreed to go. 50 00:05:42,927 --> 00:05:47,533 She'll be traveling as a lady, but she's a killer. 51 00:05:47,557 --> 00:05:48,992 A dead shot. 52 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,119 I found that out. We'll get her. 53 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:55,773 But get her when you're sure she can't beat you to the draw. 54 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,825 Whoa. 55 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:32,018 Hey! 56 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,501 Mr. Hunter. 57 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,506 Mr. Hunter. 58 00:08:58,164 --> 00:08:59,683 Take a seat over there, deary. 59 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,418 There'll be one ready in a minute. 60 00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:15,615 Now we'll take... If you don't mind my telling you, 61 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,201 it's the one right over... Please. No clues. 62 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:21,979 You'll spoil all the fun. Pardon me. 63 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:27,502 "One can detect an ailing tooth by the dull sound when it is struck lightly by a hammer." 64 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,004 Hmm. That seems logical. 65 00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:32,448 Well, here we go, please. 66 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,054 Ah! 67 00:09:37,078 --> 00:09:40,599 Ah, that's it. There's the little doll right there. 68 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,934 Now we'll take... Uh... 69 00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,668 Stand by. 70 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,147 "After discovering the ailing tooth, 71 00:09:47,171 --> 00:09:49,232 drill away the decay." 72 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,109 Hmm. 73 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,319 Doesn't seem logical, but I'm game. 74 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:57,473 Well, now open. Open wide. 75 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,352 This won't hurt us a bit. 76 00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:04,915 Where'd you go? 77 00:10:04,939 --> 00:10:07,501 Ah, steady now. Wide. 78 00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:10,879 Where's the guy who calls himself a painless dentist? 79 00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:13,298 Hey, I've got a tooth that's killin' me. 80 00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,467 Sit down. You're next. 81 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,535 I'll sit down. 82 00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,373 That's what I say. You're next. 83 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,393 That'll be $2.00, please. Never mind the $2.00. 84 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:27,312 Thanks. You're welcome. 85 00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,648 Hey. Hurry up! 86 00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,424 Okay. 87 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:35,946 Open wide. Ah! 88 00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:39,491 Yeah, that's a happy little dungeon. 89 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:41,743 Mmm. Mmm. 90 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,161 There's an echo in here. 91 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:46,039 Well, now... Never mind about that. 92 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,541 When a tooth's no good, pull it. 93 00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:51,235 Please, I'm the dentist. I know what I'm doing. 94 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,241 You know, he's right. 95 00:10:57,575 --> 00:11:01,662 All right. All right. Open wide. We... 96 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,349 Hey. Oh. That's all right. 97 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:08,085 We'll get right into the important stuff here. 98 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,231 Real wide now. Get something... 99 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,399 I thought you were gonna pull it. 100 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:15,402 Well, I have to dig a little toehold for the pliers. 101 00:11:15,426 --> 00:11:17,237 This won't hurt us at all. Just... 102 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,905 Nnnnnnnn. 103 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:21,491 Please, no singing. 104 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,411 Oh. Got a tonsil. I'm sorry. 105 00:11:24,435 --> 00:11:27,956 Ah! 106 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,332 Got hair on the inside too. 107 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,252 - There you are. Nothing to it at all. 108 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:35,172 Now we're starting to burn a little wood here. 109 00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:36,906 Steady now. 110 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:42,095 We're getting warm. 111 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:45,891 There you are. There you are. 112 00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:48,667 Now, if you'll just... 113 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:49,769 Wha... 114 00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:52,272 Would you mind moving your tongue over a little? 115 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:56,300 I didn't think you were that tough. Let's see here. 116 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,406 Don't swallow it. Don't swallow it. Don't swallow it, please. 117 00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:05,577 That's funny. I have one just like it. I... 118 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:09,188 You hungry little thing, you. 119 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,959 Well, so that's what Horace Greeley meant. 120 00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:18,381 I'll be with you in a minute. You got just the kind of mouth I'd like to work on. 121 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,883 Listen, weasel. 122 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,761 I came here to get a tooth pulled. This one. 123 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,305 Oh! The one next to the gold one. Savvy? 124 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,308 I know. We'll find it. Don't worry about a thing. 125 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:29,851 We'll get to it sooner or later. 126 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:32,687 I'm a very sensitive man. Don't hurt me. 127 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:33,813 All right, just relax. 128 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,273 What's that? Oh, it's laughing gas. 129 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,400 That's why they call me Painless Potter. 130 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,153 Is it safe? Safest thing in the world. 131 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,529 Would you mind paying me now? 132 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,616 Come on! The one next to the gold one. Okay. 133 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,952 Ah. That's good. 134 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:49,019 There you are. 135 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,630 Is it coming through? Yes. 136 00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,365 Feel anything? 137 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:05,119 Must be a leak around here. 138 00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:10,124 There you are. 139 00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,485 Is it doing it to you? 140 00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,695 Huh? 141 00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,345 Bye-bye. 142 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,866 Come on, deary. You're next. 143 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:04,345 What do you know. I pulled the wrong tooth. 144 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:09,767 Got the one with the nugget in it. 145 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:14,980 So you pulled the wrong tooth. 146 00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:17,649 How about that? 147 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:23,113 I'm gonna give you just 15 minutes to get out of town. 148 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,451 Last town they gave me 20 minutes. 149 00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:44,968 That scooped-nose quack pulled the wrong tooth. 150 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:56,146 She can't take a bath with her guns on. Come on. 151 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:02,319 Will somebody come in here and scrub my back! 152 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,863 Put it in number four, Bessie. 153 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:05,633 Oh! 154 00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:09,010 This is the ladies' side. Come on. Get out of here. 155 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,077 Ooh! 156 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:32,683 You lookin' for someone? 157 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,746 Who did the shootin'? 158 00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:57,267 Who are they? Never saw them before. 159 00:15:57,291 --> 00:16:00,186 They must be strangers. Look out. Look out. 160 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,647 I wonder who did the shooting. 161 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,691 It's Lance. He's still alive. 162 00:16:04,715 --> 00:16:07,235 - Anybody got any whiskey? - Dad's got some. 163 00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:09,761 Yeah, here. Lance. 164 00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:15,743 Doc, get up. Get up! I must be running out of customers. 165 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,538 I'm pulling my own teeth. Oh, get up, Doc. Hurry. 166 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,166 There's shootin' upstairs. Huh? 167 00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,209 Come on and do something. Shootin'? 168 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,545 I'll do something, all right. I'm clearing outta here. 169 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:30,758 I'm going back East where men may not be men, but they're not corpses either. 170 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,826 I've had enough. 171 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,998 Don't give your right names. 172 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,309 Warm up, kids. We're movin' again. 173 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,711 Federal agent... 174 00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,880 joinin'... 175 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,965 wagon train. 176 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,492 Buffalo Flats. 177 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,253 Giddyap. Get me out of this. 178 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,848 Yah! 179 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:49,837 Wait. I've been chased by women before, but not while I was awake. 180 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:53,800 I'll take over now. Yeah, you drive a while. Who wants to watch the road? 181 00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:55,552 I'm gonna join that wagon train. Come on! 182 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:59,847 Head 'em any way you like. What am I sayin'? That's Indian country out there. 183 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,307 You're not afraid of a few Indians, are you? 184 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:05,228 It's not the Indians I'm afraid of. It's their attitude. They're hatchet happy. 185 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,689 I'm headin' back home. Washington, D.C. 186 00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:09,607 I'm gonna join that wagon train. 187 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:12,402 Yeah? You can't join 'em without a wagon. 188 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:16,388 Make up your mind. Are you going with me? 189 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:27,065 You got yourself a travelin' companion. 190 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,777 Keep traveling. 191 00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:40,370 Boy, can you kiss. Ooh-ooh. 192 00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:48,253 Sorry I had to do that, son, but this is a big job. 193 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,440 There's a wagon train going west. 194 00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:53,234 You'll both join it. Hunter will pose as your husband. 195 00:18:53,258 --> 00:18:56,094 It's not speed that we're interested in. It's secrecy. 196 00:18:56,136 --> 00:19:01,058 As man and wife, you'll be lost in the crowd on that wagon train. 197 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:23,848 You wouldn't let a girl go on a wagon train alone, would you? 198 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:28,186 Painless, you're just the man I've been hoping to meet. 199 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:32,899 Painless, there's something about you that appeals to me. 200 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:37,094 Wake up, stupid. I'm proposing to you. 201 00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,931 I'm in love with you. 202 00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:43,868 I said I'm in love with you. 203 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,520 And I wanna marry you. 204 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,249 What's going on? 205 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,586 Well, sure I'll marry you, dear. 206 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,088 Huh? 207 00:19:54,112 --> 00:19:56,923 I knew the moment your lips touched mine 208 00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:59,384 that we were meant for each other. 209 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,260 Oh, you did? Uh-huh. 210 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:06,081 Let me hear you say it again. Tell me you'll marry me. 211 00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,017 Me? 212 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,894 Tell me you'll marry me. 213 00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:14,548 Oh. The way you kiss, how can I refuse? 214 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:20,846 I now pronounce you man and wife. 215 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,890 The ring, please. 216 00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:34,460 The wedding ring is a token of the solemn vows you have just taken. 217 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:41,032 This ring is a symbol of your affection, sincerity and fidelity. 218 00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:07,368 Ah. At last. 219 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,353 And now the kiss. 220 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:14,900 Not me, you fool! Her! 221 00:21:41,051 --> 00:21:45,114 Well, howdy, folks. Welcome. Uh, what's your handle? 222 00:21:45,138 --> 00:21:47,617 Potter Mr and Mrs painless peter potter I'm Mister .. 223 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:51,996 Glad to have you with us. Yeah, just make yourselves to home, folks. 224 00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,897 Oh, thank you. 225 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:59,736 I'll unhitch the horses and then we can, uh, talk. 226 00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:02,906 Well, I'll unhitch the horses. 227 00:22:10,956 --> 00:22:14,251 Come on. Let's play hide-and-seek. 228 00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,361 Hey, Jimmy, where are you? 229 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,220 Here I am! 230 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,931 Look. 231 00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:32,620 What are you tryin' to do, blow yourself up? 232 00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:33,871 You little... Shut up! 233 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:36,439 Go on, you kids. Get out of here. 234 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:42,779 I told you to keep that canvas lashed down tight. 235 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:48,034 It's a good thing he didn't see it. 236 00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:49,679 Aha. Just as I thought. 237 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:52,330 That wisdom tooth has got to come out. 238 00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,433 He don't look like no federal agent to me. 239 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:58,271 But that's the wagon that left town right after the killin'. 240 00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:01,131 I can see you 10:30, Tuesday. 241 00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:12,601 Painless. 242 00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:15,830 That's my wife. Filly to you. 243 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:19,292 From now on I probably won't have a minute to myself. 244 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:21,043 Painless! Yes? 245 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:26,197 Oh, what are you doing to that poor girl? You glorious beast. 246 00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:29,802 Yes, darling? Would you loosen my stays a little, honey? 247 00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:33,097 Well, it's not my regular work, but I... 248 00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:35,474 Maybe I can work it out better this way. 249 00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:37,685 Now, you can't do it like that. 250 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,604 Well, it was an idea. 251 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:41,522 Say, they're rugged, aren't they? 252 00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:46,176 Made of whalebone. Just call me Moby-Dick. 253 00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,821 It's a funny thing. We've been married two hours 254 00:23:48,845 --> 00:23:50,823 and this is the closest I've gotten to you. 255 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:54,744 Well, you're so strong, silent and unapproachable. 256 00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:56,853 You wanna bet? 257 00:23:57,062 --> 00:23:59,040 Tell me something about yourself. 258 00:23:59,064 --> 00:24:00,666 You seem so mysterious. 259 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,920 All I know is that you came from Washington, D.C. 260 00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:07,340 I'm sure there are a lot of things you haven't told me. 261 00:24:07,364 --> 00:24:09,508 I'll unload a little information at a time. 262 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,719 That's the way to keep a girl interested. 263 00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:14,347 Who tied these for you, a sailor? 264 00:24:14,371 --> 00:24:14,973 And another thing. 265 00:24:14,997 --> 00:24:18,351 You never told me why you left Fort Deerfield in such a hurry. 266 00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:21,187 Well, I had a little trouble, but it's all cleared up now. 267 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:26,341 There. Hey, why worry about my past? Let's work out our future. 268 00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:28,861 That's our man, all right. 269 00:24:28,885 --> 00:24:31,989 Going west in a covered wagon. That's my kind of life. 270 00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:37,244 Blazing new frontiers. Facing danger, privation and death. 271 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:38,537 Is that my kind of life? 272 00:24:38,561 --> 00:24:42,959 Now, remember, Painless, you promised to love, honor and protect me. 273 00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,335 Let's do it in the order named. 274 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,545 Get movin', folks. We'll get a good early start. 275 00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:49,882 The sooner we get past that Indian country, the better. 276 00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:54,428 Indian country. Do we have to go that way? 277 00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:58,081 Now, Painless, I'll be with you. 278 00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:01,227 You're not afraid, are you? 279 00:25:01,251 --> 00:25:05,130 No. I can always get another scalp. 280 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,924 Let's go. 281 00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:17,076 All right, folks. Let's get goin'. 282 00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:20,079 Yahoo! Yahoo! 283 00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:21,980 Yahoo! 284 00:25:22,772 --> 00:25:25,108 Yahoo! 285 00:25:31,114 --> 00:25:33,450 My husband. 286 00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:45,813 We'll take this trail to the right. 287 00:25:45,837 --> 00:25:48,983 Yeah, we better. That one leads deep into Indian country. 288 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:52,945 Well, let's get goin'. We got a long haul before night. Right. 289 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,804 All right, boys. 290 00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:17,386 ♪ A western ranch is just a branch ♪ 291 00:26:17,410 --> 00:26:20,639 ♪ Of nowhere junction to me ♪ 292 00:26:20,663 --> 00:26:23,809 ♪ Give me the city where living's pretty ♪ 293 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:27,837 ♪ And the gals wear finery ♪ 294 00:26:29,047 --> 00:26:31,692 ♪ East is east and west is west ♪ 295 00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:35,404 ♪ And the wrong one I have chose ♪ 296 00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:38,074 ♪ Let's go where you'll keep on wearin' ♪ 297 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,702 ♪ Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows ♪ 298 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:46,689 ♪ Rings and things and buttons and bows ♪ 299 00:26:47,941 --> 00:26:51,128 ♪ Don't bury me in this prairie ♪ 300 00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:54,340 ♪ Take me where the cement grows ♪ 301 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:57,176 ♪ Let's move down to some big town ♪ 302 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,578 ♪ Where they love a gal by the cut o' her clothes ♪ 303 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:07,394 ♪ And you'll stand out in buttons and bows ♪ 304 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:10,588 ♪ I love you in buckskin ♪ 305 00:27:10,630 --> 00:27:13,526 ♪ Or skirts that you've homespun ♪ 306 00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:16,070 ♪ But I love you longer, stronger ♪ 307 00:27:16,094 --> 00:27:19,782 ♪ Where your friends don't tote a gun ♪ 308 00:27:19,806 --> 00:27:23,119 ♪ My bones denounce the buckboard bounce ♪ 309 00:27:23,143 --> 00:27:26,330 ♪ And the cactus hurts my toes ♪ 310 00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,291 ♪ Let's vamoose where gals keep usin' ♪ 311 00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,878 ♪ Those silks and satins and linen that shows ♪ 312 00:27:32,902 --> 00:27:37,991 ♪ And you're all mine in buttons and bows ♪ 313 00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:42,096 ♪ Give me eastern trimmin' where women are women ♪ 314 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,266 ♪ In high silk hose and peekaboo clothes ♪ 315 00:27:45,290 --> 00:27:48,853 ♪ And French perfume that rocks the room ♪ 316 00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:51,754 ♪ And you're all mine ♪ 317 00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:55,300 ♪ Bows ♪ 318 00:27:57,427 --> 00:28:00,430 ♪ Buttons and bows ♪ 319 00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:03,975 ♪ Buttons and bows ♪ 320 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:09,606 ♪ Buttons and bows ♪ 321 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,982 Shh! Can't you see she's sleeping? 322 00:29:02,325 --> 00:29:05,304 Come on. Come on. You're laggin' way behind. 323 00:29:05,328 --> 00:29:06,805 Come on. 324 00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:10,559 First chance I get I'm tradin' you in for a pair of turtles. 325 00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,420 Giddyap, Stanislaus. Come on, Clifton. 326 00:29:19,342 --> 00:29:23,721 All you had to do was follow the wagon in front of you. 327 00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:25,824 I think we're going in the wrong direction. 328 00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:31,997 Well, maybe this is a shortcut. Maybe we're way ahead of them. Oh, shut up. 329 00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:34,399 Yes, ma'am. 330 00:29:35,733 --> 00:29:39,171 Well, we can stay in this blockhouse for the night. 331 00:29:39,195 --> 00:29:41,507 We'll get our bearings in the morning. 332 00:29:41,531 --> 00:29:43,926 Night? Morning? 333 00:29:43,950 --> 00:29:45,660 Yes, ma'am. 334 00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:55,044 We're beddin' down here for the night. Take 'em back to the corral. 335 00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:02,111 Hurry. Quickly. Bring your own blankets. Come on. 336 00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:04,887 Come on, Gramps. We'll help you. 337 00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:06,848 Look what I found, Ma. 338 00:30:07,557 --> 00:30:10,035 Oh, Jimmy! Keep your hands off of things! 339 00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:11,245 Hurry up. Get in. 340 00:30:11,269 --> 00:30:13,539 Is it all right in there? It's pretty good. 341 00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:16,375 You kids make up your own beds now. 342 00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:17,710 Come on. 343 00:30:17,734 --> 00:30:21,696 All right, it's the best we can do now. 344 00:30:21,946 --> 00:30:26,075 Gee, it's dark in here. I'm scared. 345 00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:29,179 Put that down, Johnny. 346 00:30:29,203 --> 00:30:32,373 Must be the maid's day off. Hmm. 347 00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:34,476 Looks like a likely spot, Joe. 348 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,921 Hey, kraut face. Ladies first. Then me. 349 00:30:40,631 --> 00:30:43,468 Well, this looks like it. 350 00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:45,404 Alley-oop. 351 00:30:45,428 --> 00:30:48,115 Just think. Someday there'll be a sign on that door: 352 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:50,075 "Painless Potter slept here." 353 00:30:50,099 --> 00:30:51,702 Well, don't put it up yet. 354 00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:54,937 No, I've got my hands full now. 355 00:30:56,397 --> 00:30:59,192 Tomorrow night you carry me. 356 00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:04,131 Isn't the moonlight romantic? 357 00:31:04,155 --> 00:31:07,658 Yeah. Light the candle. Yeah. 358 00:31:08,785 --> 00:31:11,496 Candlelight's romantic too. 359 00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:18,086 We don't want any dust to blow in. 360 00:31:47,198 --> 00:31:48,574 Painless. 361 00:31:49,575 --> 00:31:50,261 Yes? 362 00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:54,223 Would you get me a drink of cold water, please? 363 00:31:54,247 --> 00:31:57,166 Water? Cold? 364 00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,562 Cold water. Well, that adds up. 365 00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:06,467 All right. If I'm not back in three minutes, you'll know I fell in the well. 366 00:32:07,844 --> 00:32:09,846 Excuse me. 367 00:33:45,775 --> 00:33:47,610 Thank you. 368 00:33:48,486 --> 00:33:51,572 It's your husband, darling. 369 00:33:54,992 --> 00:33:57,912 Yoo-hoo! 370 00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,123 I'm back, honey. 371 00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:04,961 Got your cold water. 372 00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:10,341 My, you're blushing right down to your little tootsies, aren't you? 373 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,969 Here you are, cuddles. 374 00:34:15,596 --> 00:34:18,099 There you are. I'm sorry. 375 00:34:19,392 --> 00:34:21,561 My, but you're an odd girl. 376 00:34:25,982 --> 00:34:30,379 Gee, I'm glad I picked a wife with a sense of humor. 377 00:34:30,403 --> 00:34:32,989 Uh, is everything all right? 378 00:34:33,823 --> 00:34:36,718 My, but you're a muscular little thing, aren't you? 379 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:39,888 Those dresses are awfully deceiving. 380 00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:43,040 Smooth. Smooth. 381 00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:47,962 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tickle you. 382 00:34:48,045 --> 00:34:51,400 Isn't that sweet? You put your hair up in braids. 383 00:34:51,424 --> 00:34:53,318 Oh, that's nice. Come on out, Mrs. Potter. 384 00:34:53,342 --> 00:34:56,446 I know. You're modest. But it's all right. 385 00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:58,824 I'll keep my eyes closed. 386 00:34:58,848 --> 00:35:01,410 Come on, doll. 387 00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:03,060 Oh! 388 00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:06,582 Oh! Now come close to me, wifey. 389 00:35:06,606 --> 00:35:08,858 Come close to me. 390 00:35:09,275 --> 00:35:11,902 Boy, can you kiss. 391 00:35:39,555 --> 00:35:41,349 Wake up. 392 00:35:43,392 --> 00:35:46,622 Oh, good morning, honey. You got up early. 393 00:35:46,646 --> 00:35:50,733 Start movin'. We gotta get out of here. Yeah? 394 00:35:51,734 --> 00:35:55,631 Say, I don't know what happened last night, darling, 395 00:35:55,655 --> 00:35:58,675 but thanks for a lovely evening. 396 00:35:58,699 --> 00:36:01,911 Well, you're sure easy to please. 397 00:36:02,578 --> 00:36:06,350 Boy, I can't get over your kisses. 398 00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:08,959 Whoo-woo. 399 00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:14,965 I think I married a mental case. 400 00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,039 Huh. 401 00:36:57,758 --> 00:36:58,968 Huh. 402 00:37:04,390 --> 00:37:08,144 Huh. Must be a Virginia creeper. 403 00:37:08,686 --> 00:37:09,687 Hmm. 404 00:37:17,319 --> 00:37:21,323 Gotta make myself pretty. I owe it to the little woman. 405 00:37:32,710 --> 00:37:35,021 Huh. I'm shaving too close. 406 00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,340 Boy, I'm certainly a nervous wreck. 407 00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,011 It's an arrow. 408 00:37:43,179 --> 00:37:46,366 Someone had to shoot it. Who shoots arrows? 409 00:37:46,390 --> 00:37:49,453 Cupid? No, it couldn't be Cupid. 410 00:37:49,477 --> 00:37:50,079 William Tell? 411 00:37:50,103 --> 00:37:53,790 No, that's silly. It couldn't be William Tell. No apple. 412 00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:55,500 Huh. Indians. 413 00:37:55,524 --> 00:37:59,528 Yeah. Ind... Could be. 414 00:38:00,029 --> 00:38:02,632 Indians! Indians! 415 00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,634 Oh! Wait. 416 00:38:04,658 --> 00:38:07,495 Indians! Wait! Wait! 417 00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:10,849 Fellas, let me in! Open up! Open up! 418 00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:11,392 Look! It's me! 419 00:38:11,416 --> 00:38:14,686 Oh! They wanna make a pincushion out of me! Open up! 420 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:17,689 Pick up those guns and take care of yourself. Let me in! 421 00:38:17,713 --> 00:38:20,692 You're too young to be a widow! Take care of myself? 422 00:38:20,716 --> 00:38:25,888 Look! There's a million Indians out here against one coward! 423 00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:32,561 I hope they're loaded. I wish I was too. 424 00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:44,907 I got him! I think. 425 00:38:55,292 --> 00:38:57,062 It's a cinch. 426 00:38:57,086 --> 00:39:00,297 There's a pile for you. Oh! 427 00:39:00,339 --> 00:39:02,400 We was wrong about that dentist. 428 00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:05,094 He's doin' some mighty fancy shootin'. 429 00:39:23,362 --> 00:39:24,572 Bad bullet. 430 00:39:31,161 --> 00:39:35,374 Let's keep it neat. Not... 431 00:39:41,005 --> 00:39:42,732 They started it. 432 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:44,276 How come you got lost? What happened? 433 00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:47,737 I'll tell you what happened! He saved the whole wagon train! 434 00:39:47,761 --> 00:39:50,866 Yeah, he done it by himself. I never saw such shootin'. 435 00:39:50,890 --> 00:39:52,117 Best shot in the West. 436 00:39:52,141 --> 00:39:54,035 He knowed the Injuns was on your trail, 437 00:39:54,059 --> 00:39:56,705 and he decoyed 'em away from the rest of the wagons. 438 00:39:56,729 --> 00:40:00,458 I did? Oh, he's right. That's what I did. I did that. 439 00:40:00,482 --> 00:40:02,043 You're a hero, son. Yeah? 440 00:40:02,067 --> 00:40:04,462 You can have my rifle. Oh, thanks, Dad. 441 00:40:04,486 --> 00:40:07,799 I'll knock off a couple of Indians for you. 442 00:40:07,823 --> 00:40:11,052 Land sakes! 443 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,972 He's got eyes in the back of his head. 444 00:40:13,996 --> 00:40:15,223 Why, darling, 445 00:40:15,247 --> 00:40:17,642 you never said anything about being a dead shot. 446 00:40:17,666 --> 00:40:21,670 I told you I'd give you a little information at a time. 447 00:40:21,837 --> 00:40:24,149 Hey, son, on behalf of the wagon train, 448 00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:25,692 thank you for what you've done. 449 00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:27,801 You saved an awful lot of lives. 450 00:40:33,891 --> 00:40:35,619 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 451 00:40:35,643 --> 00:40:38,204 Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to say a few words. 452 00:40:38,228 --> 00:40:41,166 Let's get out of here before them Redskins come back. 453 00:40:41,190 --> 00:40:43,192 Those are the words. Well... 454 00:40:47,029 --> 00:40:48,798 You lead the way, Doctor. Okay. 455 00:40:48,822 --> 00:40:50,300 Nothin' to be scared of now. 456 00:40:50,324 --> 00:40:52,344 You've got the courage of a lion, Doctor. 457 00:40:52,368 --> 00:40:53,595 Brave men run in my family. 458 00:40:53,619 --> 00:40:56,973 Bye! Hurry up, folks. We're off to Buffalo Flats! 459 00:40:56,997 --> 00:41:01,895 Off to Buffalo Flats! Yahoo! 460 00:41:01,919 --> 00:41:03,921 Off to Buffalo... 461 00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,388 Our hero. 462 00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:37,121 ? Get a man, get a man, get a man 463 00:41:39,415 --> 00:41:43,836 ♪ Get a man, get a man, get a man ♪ 464 00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:50,426 ♪ Get a man, get a man, get a man ♪ 465 00:41:50,509 --> 00:41:54,471 - Oh, Mr. Preston. - Come in, come in. 466 00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:58,576 You come at a most inopportune time. 467 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,997 Boss, we've got some pretty important news. Oh, I'm sure you have. 468 00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:07,210 Somehow I can always sense when one of my associates bungles a job. 469 00:42:07,234 --> 00:42:08,586 What have you messed up this time? 470 00:42:08,610 --> 00:42:12,448 There's a new federal agent coming in on the wagon train. 471 00:42:14,450 --> 00:42:17,494 Why did you let him through? 472 00:42:20,664 --> 00:42:22,559 Stranger, I like you. 473 00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,060 And I like you, Red. 474 00:42:24,084 --> 00:42:26,837 Pepper! There's Joe! 475 00:42:41,018 --> 00:42:46,023 The next guy that messes around my gal gets the same thing. 476 00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:56,450 Wagon train's here! 477 00:42:59,495 --> 00:43:00,930 Eddie. 478 00:43:00,954 --> 00:43:03,332 Drag the gentleman out. 479 00:43:06,168 --> 00:43:07,645 What's all the excitement out in front? 480 00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:11,215 They're giving a welcome to that guy we told you about. 481 00:43:16,178 --> 00:43:20,408 All right, folks, the biggest hero that this west has ever seen! 482 00:43:20,432 --> 00:43:21,743 - Yes, sir! - Hooray! 483 00:43:21,767 --> 00:43:23,936 Hooray! 484 00:43:24,853 --> 00:43:27,624 Please, please. It was nothing. Anyone could have done it. 485 00:43:27,648 --> 00:43:31,026 Anyone who was strong, courageous and a dead shot. 486 00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:34,422 Is that our fearless federal agent? 487 00:43:34,446 --> 00:43:37,133 Don't let his looks fool you. He's a cold-blooded murderer. 488 00:43:37,157 --> 00:43:40,136 Calls himself a dentist. Painless Potter. But that's just a front. 489 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:41,554 It ain't gonna be easy to put him away. 490 00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:45,975 He's got eyes in the back of his head. But we can put him away. 491 00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:49,354 Pepper, do you think you could learn to love a dentist? 492 00:43:49,378 --> 00:43:53,191 A short romance? I don't think it'd be too difficult. 493 00:43:53,215 --> 00:43:55,693 Hey, I'd like to be in his shoes. 494 00:43:55,717 --> 00:43:59,054 I wonder what the cowards are doin'. 495 00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:10,250 You and your high heels. May I please shake your hand? 496 00:44:10,274 --> 00:44:13,044 My little boy wants to touch you! Oh, no, no. 497 00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:14,921 Now, easy, girls. Easy. I'm tired. 498 00:44:14,945 --> 00:44:17,132 I've been fighting Indians all day. Oh! 499 00:44:17,156 --> 00:44:19,801 But I may give you a moment later. Don't give up. 500 00:44:19,825 --> 00:44:22,095 You're so wonderful. Oh, he's so handsome. 501 00:44:22,119 --> 00:44:24,222 And keep cheering. 502 00:44:24,246 --> 00:44:26,456 What happened to the band? 503 00:44:26,582 --> 00:44:30,061 We're proud to have you as our guest, sir. Very happy to be here. 504 00:44:30,085 --> 00:44:33,106 Mr. and Mrs. Painless Potter, with baggage. 505 00:44:33,130 --> 00:44:34,274 Mr. and Mrs... 506 00:44:34,298 --> 00:44:36,550 Would you like a boy? 507 00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:42,949 Ooh. 508 00:44:42,973 --> 00:44:46,143 Oh, yes, yes. 509 00:44:56,445 --> 00:44:58,798 Boy. Yes, sir. 510 00:44:58,822 --> 00:45:00,758 Boy? Will you unhitch my horses, 511 00:45:00,782 --> 00:45:03,303 feed 'em some hay and have some for yourself, huh? 512 00:45:03,327 --> 00:45:05,555 Thanks. I never touch the stuff. All right. 513 00:45:05,579 --> 00:45:07,599 Here you are, sir. We're all set, honey. 514 00:45:07,623 --> 00:45:10,435 Room with running water. They got a guy who'll run for it. 515 00:45:10,459 --> 00:45:12,812 Painless, wait. You don't wanna leave all this. 516 00:45:12,836 --> 00:45:16,274 Well, that's all right. I can wave to 'em from the window upstairs. 517 00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:19,027 You're just too modest to understand. 518 00:45:19,051 --> 00:45:22,363 You're a legend now, a hero, a man apart. 519 00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,658 Yeah, and we've been apart too long. Come on, honey. 520 00:45:25,682 --> 00:45:27,601 Look outside. 521 00:45:28,143 --> 00:45:30,038 Once that was a forest. 522 00:45:30,062 --> 00:45:33,625 Then it became a trail, then a town. 523 00:45:33,649 --> 00:45:35,001 And some day it'll be a city. 524 00:45:35,025 --> 00:45:38,695 Yeah, that's what I like... progress. And I'm not makin' any. 525 00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:40,506 Some day it'll be a city 526 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:43,635 with a statue of a great man. 527 00:45:43,659 --> 00:45:44,928 And do you know whose statue it'll be? 528 00:45:44,952 --> 00:45:48,806 Yeah, the guy who invented keys. Let's use it. Come on. No, no. 529 00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:52,769 It'll be a statue of Painless Potter. 530 00:45:52,793 --> 00:45:53,770 Huh? 531 00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:55,813 And under that statue it'll read, 532 00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:57,023 "Painless Potter, 533 00:45:57,047 --> 00:46:00,777 successor to Wild Bill Hickok and Buffalo Bill Cody, 534 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:05,031 the intrepid hero who saved an entire wagon train 535 00:46:05,055 --> 00:46:07,200 by killing 11 Indians." 536 00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:09,768 Twelve. 537 00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:12,372 So you see, dear, that's why it wouldn't be fair 538 00:46:12,396 --> 00:46:14,249 for me to take you away from these people 539 00:46:14,273 --> 00:46:17,543 and not give them a chance to express their gratitude. 540 00:46:17,567 --> 00:46:18,670 Yeah, I guess. 541 00:46:18,694 --> 00:46:21,697 Hey, wait a minute. What's this all about? 542 00:46:22,864 --> 00:46:25,468 Well, I might as well come clean, Painless. 543 00:46:25,492 --> 00:46:27,053 Our marriage won't work. 544 00:46:27,077 --> 00:46:30,431 You're a hero now, and I'm just a little nobody. 545 00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:32,350 You belong to the people. 546 00:46:32,374 --> 00:46:34,060 This is the end of the road. 547 00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:35,752 We're through. Through? 548 00:46:35,794 --> 00:46:38,856 Mm-hmm. What's going on? You and I just got together... 549 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:43,051 You might just as well face it, Painless. It's over, that's all. 550 00:46:43,343 --> 00:46:46,739 Oh. Oh, this is great. 551 00:46:46,763 --> 00:46:47,949 This... I give up my career. 552 00:46:47,973 --> 00:46:51,536 I bring you out here on a wagon train and save your life 553 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,413 by killing 13 Indians, 554 00:46:53,437 --> 00:46:56,541 and now you're gonna give me the kiss-off. 555 00:46:56,565 --> 00:46:57,542 Oh! 556 00:46:57,566 --> 00:46:59,544 Well, you're not the only dame. 557 00:46:59,568 --> 00:47:03,923 There are a lot of other fish in the sea, and I'm going out and cast some bait. 558 00:47:03,947 --> 00:47:04,633 Good-bye, Painless. 559 00:47:04,657 --> 00:47:06,217 That's all right, if that's the way you feel. 560 00:47:06,241 --> 00:47:10,972 But I promise you one thing. You'll come crawling back to me on your hands and knees, 561 00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:13,582 and do you think I'll be there? 562 00:47:14,916 --> 00:47:16,293 Good-bye. 563 00:47:17,919 --> 00:47:19,981 I'll show her. 564 00:47:20,005 --> 00:47:22,317 A fine hero. Through. 565 00:47:22,341 --> 00:47:24,426 Hi. Hi. 566 00:47:33,935 --> 00:47:35,645 Hiya. Hi. 567 00:47:39,149 --> 00:47:42,211 Uh, how'd you like a little conversation with a hero? 568 00:47:42,235 --> 00:47:44,780 Why, I'd be tickled to death. 569 00:47:46,782 --> 00:47:48,408 Follow me. 570 00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,353 You Hank Billings? 571 00:47:58,377 --> 00:48:01,338 That's what the sign says. 572 00:48:04,216 --> 00:48:06,235 Just came in on the wagon train. 573 00:48:06,259 --> 00:48:11,741 Before I left Fort Deerfield, I saw a friend of yours, name of Hunter. 574 00:48:11,765 --> 00:48:13,558 Jim Hunter. 575 00:48:16,186 --> 00:48:22,776 Seems a shame a man like Hunter getting killed just so you can play cagey. 576 00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:29,991 Hot trip from Fort Deerfield. 577 00:48:30,534 --> 00:48:33,120 Come up and cool off. 578 00:48:39,668 --> 00:48:43,171 Where'd I put my tobacco? 579 00:48:49,428 --> 00:48:52,848 Now I know why they sent a woman. 580 00:48:53,223 --> 00:48:57,394 Yep. You know what you're gettin' into? 581 00:49:02,524 --> 00:49:05,628 You've landed smack-dab right in the middle 582 00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:08,089 of the lowest-down skunk of a scheme 583 00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:11,008 they ever smeared across the West. 584 00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:13,678 Landed feet first too. 585 00:49:13,702 --> 00:49:16,305 That's how you're gonna get carried out of it. 586 00:49:16,329 --> 00:49:18,540 Just skip the big talk. 587 00:49:19,458 --> 00:49:23,253 All right, gal, sit down. 588 00:49:27,340 --> 00:49:29,735 Somebody's runnin' guns into the Indians. 589 00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:34,407 Enough rifles to massacre every white man in the whole territory. 590 00:49:34,431 --> 00:49:37,976 I can't understand why they ain't attacked already. 591 00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:40,979 Maybe they're waiting for this. 592 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:43,291 Where'd ya get that dynamite? 593 00:49:43,315 --> 00:49:45,751 Two loads came in on the wagon train. 594 00:49:45,775 --> 00:49:49,714 Someone's gonna pick it up, and we gotta find out who. 595 00:49:49,738 --> 00:49:51,907 What's your plan? 596 00:49:52,157 --> 00:49:53,051 Whoever killed Jim Hunter, 597 00:49:53,075 --> 00:49:55,803 found out there was a federal agent after 'em, 598 00:49:55,827 --> 00:49:58,389 but they didn't know who it was. 599 00:49:58,413 --> 00:50:00,558 I steered 'em onto the wrong party. 600 00:50:00,582 --> 00:50:05,021 A husband I picked up in Fort Deerfield, name of Painless Potter. 601 00:50:05,045 --> 00:50:07,315 They'll kill him, sure. 602 00:50:07,339 --> 00:50:08,649 That's right. 603 00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:11,569 They'll think the federal agent's dead. 604 00:50:11,593 --> 00:50:13,762 Then I can operate. 605 00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:19,392 Hi. 606 00:50:27,609 --> 00:50:29,045 Where's the high life around here? 607 00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:31,589 Right over at the Dirty Shame Saloon. 608 00:50:31,613 --> 00:50:33,031 Spread out. 609 00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:44,459 Isn't he a dandy? 610 00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,170 He's a humdinger. 611 00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:49,464 Here he comes, folks! 612 00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:01,327 Welcome, welcome. 613 00:51:01,351 --> 00:51:03,955 Gentlemen! 614 00:51:03,979 --> 00:51:06,582 We have a celebrity in our midst. 615 00:51:06,606 --> 00:51:08,459 It's a rare privilege to shake the hand 616 00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:11,546 of the greatest Indian fighter west of the Mississippi. 617 00:51:11,570 --> 00:51:13,965 You can include the East too, son. 618 00:51:13,989 --> 00:51:17,701 Watch it. Watch it. It's my trigger finger. 619 00:51:17,826 --> 00:51:20,888 I'd consider it an honor if you would join me. 620 00:51:20,912 --> 00:51:23,290 Heard you, partner. Heard you. 621 00:51:30,005 --> 00:51:30,982 You were sayin'? 622 00:51:31,006 --> 00:51:33,550 What'll you have, my friend? 623 00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:47,248 Never mind the chaser. 624 00:51:47,272 --> 00:51:49,750 You going to be in town long? How about a dance? 625 00:51:49,774 --> 00:51:51,252 We all want a chance. 626 00:51:51,276 --> 00:51:53,588 Wait a minute. Don't fight over me, gals. 627 00:51:53,612 --> 00:51:56,007 I'll be around a while. Good. 628 00:51:56,031 --> 00:51:58,843 Take it slow. You know this could become habit-forming. 629 00:51:58,867 --> 00:52:00,886 Move in, honey. Don't get shut out. Okay. 630 00:52:00,910 --> 00:52:04,515 Yes, sir. Stand by. I may raffle myself off later. 631 00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:05,790 For me? 632 00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:11,772 ♪ This town ain't big enough ♪ 633 00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:13,941 ♪ The streets ain't long enough ♪ 634 00:52:13,965 --> 00:52:18,487 ♪ For me to get away from you ♪ 635 00:52:18,511 --> 00:52:23,868 ♪ Meet ya round the corner 'bout half-past eight ♪ 636 00:52:23,892 --> 00:52:27,705 ♪ Oh, honey, what we'll do ♪ 637 00:52:27,729 --> 00:52:29,832 ♪ The West ain't rough enough ♪ 638 00:52:29,856 --> 00:52:32,043 ♪ The joints ain't tough enough ♪ 639 00:52:32,067 --> 00:52:36,839 ♪ To keep me from the one I crave ♪ 640 00:52:36,863 --> 00:52:38,758 ♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪ 641 00:52:38,782 --> 00:52:41,719 ♪ Now, don't be late ♪ 642 00:52:41,743 --> 00:52:44,597 ♪ You'll see how I behave ♪ 643 00:52:44,621 --> 00:52:49,560 ♪ When we're alone, honey ♪ 644 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,771 ♪ You'll be possessin' ♪ 645 00:52:51,795 --> 00:52:54,065 ♪ My best caressin' ♪ 646 00:52:54,089 --> 00:52:58,402 ♪ I'll be your own honey ♪ 647 00:52:58,426 --> 00:53:00,404 ♪ You're the kind ♪ 648 00:53:00,428 --> 00:53:02,698 ♪ To make me lose my mind ♪ 649 00:53:02,722 --> 00:53:05,576 ♪ One kiss ain't strong enough ♪ 650 00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:07,578 ♪ A kiss ain't long enough ♪ 651 00:53:07,602 --> 00:53:12,148 ♪ Got to kiss you night and day ♪ 652 00:53:12,190 --> 00:53:14,669 ♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪ 653 00:53:14,693 --> 00:53:16,629 ♪ Any old corner ♪ 654 00:53:16,653 --> 00:53:19,590 ♪ Meet ya anytime you say ♪ 655 00:53:19,614 --> 00:53:21,157 ♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪ 656 00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:23,260 ♪ Seein' as you're new here ♪ 657 00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:25,096 ♪ Soon as I'm through here ♪ 658 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,349 ♪ I'll kiss ya in my own sweet way ♪ 659 00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:29,975 ♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪ 660 00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:32,478 ♪ Meet ya round the corner ♪ 661 00:53:32,502 --> 00:53:34,897 ♪ Any old corner ♪ 662 00:53:34,921 --> 00:53:40,319 ♪ Meet ya anytime you say? ♪ 663 00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:42,405 You got a cigar on ya, sister? 664 00:53:42,429 --> 00:53:44,365 Come on, handsome. Let's dance. 665 00:53:44,389 --> 00:53:45,807 Take me away. 666 00:54:25,013 --> 00:54:27,891 - It's Joe! - It's Joe! 667 00:54:31,186 --> 00:54:34,939 Don't do it, Joe. This guy's a killer. 668 00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:37,168 What's the trouble, stranger? 669 00:54:37,192 --> 00:54:39,754 I don't like nobody foolin' around my gal. 670 00:54:39,778 --> 00:54:42,381 Yeah, well, I got news for you. 671 00:54:42,405 --> 00:54:43,841 I ain't foolin'. 672 00:54:43,865 --> 00:54:45,492 Now get. 673 00:54:45,909 --> 00:54:48,244 You ain't scarin' nobody. 674 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,522 This town ain't big enough for you and me. 675 00:54:58,546 --> 00:55:01,150 I'll give you till sundown to get out. 676 00:55:01,174 --> 00:55:03,968 That's the usual time, ain't it? 677 00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:06,739 At sundown I'll be out lookin' for you. 678 00:55:06,763 --> 00:55:08,199 I'll be waitin'. 679 00:55:08,223 --> 00:55:10,850 And I'll be lookin'! 680 00:55:11,559 --> 00:55:13,895 He plumb riled me. 681 00:55:20,902 --> 00:55:23,214 Four fingers of Red Eye. 682 00:55:23,238 --> 00:55:26,574 I always feel like a drink before a killin'. 683 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:30,954 The thumb too. 684 00:55:40,421 --> 00:55:43,383 Nothin' stronger, huh? 685 00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:29,196 The sun's almost down, honey. 686 00:56:29,220 --> 00:56:30,115 Yeah. 687 00:56:30,139 --> 00:56:33,284 This little doll is just itchin' for another notch. 688 00:56:33,308 --> 00:56:35,452 Here, wear this for good luck. 689 00:56:35,476 --> 00:56:40,624 Yeah. But men don't wear these. Oh, yeah. Sure, kid. 690 00:56:40,648 --> 00:56:42,317 Thanks. 691 00:56:43,276 --> 00:56:47,464 Hey, listen. The man that's after you just killed my brother. 692 00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:48,133 Here's a tip. 693 00:56:48,157 --> 00:56:54,662 He draws from the left, so lean to the right. 694 00:56:59,042 --> 00:57:02,354 Son, I'll let you in on somethin'. 695 00:57:02,378 --> 00:57:06,108 Long towards sunset, there's a wind from the east, 696 00:57:06,132 --> 00:57:08,152 so you better aim to the west. 697 00:57:08,176 --> 00:57:09,987 He draws from the left, so lean to the right. 698 00:57:10,011 --> 00:57:13,890 There's a wind from the east, so better aim to the west. 699 00:57:17,018 --> 00:57:18,537 I know this Joe like a book. 700 00:57:18,561 --> 00:57:22,041 He crouches when he shoots, so stand on your toes. 701 00:57:22,065 --> 00:57:23,876 He draws from the left, so lean to the right. 702 00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:26,045 There's a wind from the east, better aim to the west. 703 00:57:26,069 --> 00:57:29,048 He crouches when he shoots, so stand on your toes. 704 00:57:29,072 --> 00:57:31,032 Thanks. 705 00:57:56,516 --> 00:58:01,145 Hey, Mrs. Potter, your husband's mixed up in a gun fight. 706 00:58:02,438 --> 00:58:05,066 Well, that problem's taken care of. 707 00:58:06,067 --> 00:58:09,380 He draws from the left, so stand on your toes. 708 00:58:09,404 --> 00:58:13,157 There's a wind from the east, better lean to the right. 709 00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:16,720 He crouches when he shoots, better aim to the west. 710 00:58:16,744 --> 00:58:19,348 He draws from his toes, so lean towards the wind. 711 00:58:19,372 --> 00:58:22,583 Ha, ha! I got it. 712 00:58:25,211 --> 00:58:26,939 Watch it! 713 00:58:26,963 --> 00:58:29,382 Watch it, watch it. 714 00:58:35,346 --> 00:58:37,765 Better warm up a little. 715 00:58:47,775 --> 00:58:49,652 The wind shifted. 716 00:59:08,004 --> 00:59:10,339 Either way, he wins. 717 01:00:06,854 --> 01:00:11,668 He draws from the wind, so lean when you stand. 718 01:00:11,692 --> 01:00:13,027 No. 719 01:00:13,319 --> 01:00:17,716 He stands on his crouch with his toes in the wind. 720 01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:19,033 No. 721 01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:48,437 Shh! 722 01:02:00,176 --> 01:02:02,553 All right, Potter! 723 01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:07,576 Hey, it's Peter Potter! 724 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:08,994 Hooray for Peter Potter! 725 01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:13,665 How do ya like that! Tried to fool me. He didn't crouch with the wind. 726 01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:15,250 What's the idea? 727 01:02:15,274 --> 01:02:18,486 I nearly made a mistake. 728 01:02:18,569 --> 01:02:23,467 When you're huntin' a mountain lion, stake out a goat. 729 01:02:23,491 --> 01:02:26,053 Yeah, the lion gets the goat and... 730 01:02:26,077 --> 01:02:27,662 We get the lion. 731 01:02:27,787 --> 01:02:30,641 We'd better get rid of the dynamite. 732 01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:32,309 Get a hold of Yellow Feather. 733 01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:36,480 Now, you try and find out where they're hidin' that dynamite, 734 01:02:36,504 --> 01:02:38,839 and I'll round up our goat. 735 01:02:38,923 --> 01:02:40,275 I'd have got him sooner, but I tripped. 736 01:02:40,299 --> 01:02:44,303 Have a little work for ya. Stick around and I'll make you wealthy. 737 01:02:45,721 --> 01:02:48,808 Hurry, boys, I may have to pose for a statue. 738 01:02:50,309 --> 01:02:53,771 Fooled you that time, didn't I? 739 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,524 I have to be a hero. 740 01:02:56,649 --> 01:02:58,293 Oh, you great big, wonderful man! 741 01:02:58,317 --> 01:03:00,587 I told you my garter would bring you good luck. 742 01:03:00,611 --> 01:03:02,631 Oh, thanks. Lucky thing I had a gun too. 743 01:03:02,655 --> 01:03:04,675 How about a great big smack for Pepper? 744 01:03:04,699 --> 01:03:08,369 Well... It sounds like a good idea. 745 01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,051 I don't want anybody foolin' with my man. 746 01:03:27,138 --> 01:03:29,616 I've come back to you, darling. 747 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:30,993 What's that, stranger? 748 01:03:31,017 --> 01:03:35,289 I didn't realize how much I loved you until I saw how brave you were. 749 01:03:35,313 --> 01:03:36,415 Please forgive me. 750 01:03:36,439 --> 01:03:39,918 Well, you didn't come crawling back on your hands and knees, 751 01:03:39,942 --> 01:03:41,628 but I'll weaken. 752 01:03:41,652 --> 01:03:44,030 You may kiss my cheek. 753 01:03:45,906 --> 01:03:47,676 Shall we go to our room, dear? 754 01:03:47,700 --> 01:03:51,430 That seems fair. My arm, Mrs. Potter. 755 01:03:51,454 --> 01:03:53,914 Nah, over here. 756 01:03:55,166 --> 01:03:57,918 That's my shootin' side. 757 01:04:04,300 --> 01:04:06,761 Be right with you, honey. 758 01:04:09,430 --> 01:04:12,933 There, that ought to take care of the tourists. 759 01:04:26,614 --> 01:04:30,260 Gee, I never thought I'd find a girl who would fight over me. 760 01:04:30,284 --> 01:04:32,763 Boy, when you hit her with that right. 761 01:04:32,787 --> 01:04:34,556 Remember, honey, I'm on your side. 762 01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:36,433 Why, of course, dear. I'm your wife. 763 01:04:36,457 --> 01:04:38,518 Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. 764 01:04:38,542 --> 01:04:40,628 Yeah. Come. 765 01:04:41,879 --> 01:04:44,298 Come close to me, wifey. 766 01:04:48,386 --> 01:04:52,473 Oh, that was delightful. Let's try another one, huh? 767 01:04:56,018 --> 01:05:00,689 You poor kid. I'm sorry I had to do that. 768 01:05:01,107 --> 01:05:04,568 What's the matter with me? I must be gettin' soft. 769 01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:14,537 Hank! Guns. 770 01:05:14,995 --> 01:05:16,973 Dynamite. 771 01:05:16,997 --> 01:05:18,725 Undertaker's parlor... 772 01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:22,479 You'll find the men that... 773 01:05:22,503 --> 01:05:24,255 Hank. 774 01:05:33,472 --> 01:05:34,325 Painless. 775 01:05:34,349 --> 01:05:36,827 Painless, wake up. Wake up. Come on. 776 01:05:36,851 --> 01:05:40,288 He crouches when he shoots, so aim to the left. 777 01:05:40,312 --> 01:05:42,249 J... Jane! 778 01:05:42,273 --> 01:05:43,834 Painless, do you love me? 779 01:05:43,858 --> 01:05:45,585 Oh, I'm... I'm yours, body and soul. 780 01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:50,257 Will you do anything for me without asking questions? Naturally, darling. 781 01:05:50,281 --> 01:05:51,425 Well, then, listen carefully. 782 01:05:51,449 --> 01:05:54,136 There's dynamite hidden in the undertaker's parlor. 783 01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:55,887 Someone's gonna come callin' for it tonight. 784 01:05:55,911 --> 01:05:57,913 Go down there and find out who they are. 785 01:05:57,955 --> 01:05:59,808 Easy, gal. Are you trying to get rid of me again? 786 01:05:59,832 --> 01:06:02,978 Please, Painless. I can't tell you why now, but this is important. 787 01:06:03,002 --> 01:06:04,980 You must go. I don't must anything. 788 01:06:05,004 --> 01:06:06,857 Any other girl would be tickled pink to be alone 789 01:06:06,881 --> 01:06:09,901 with a guy who's killed 14 Indians for her, but not you. 790 01:06:09,925 --> 01:06:12,237 Every time we're alone, you try to give me the old heave-ho. 791 01:06:12,261 --> 01:06:16,700 Twenty years of my life... our whole life together depends on this. 792 01:06:16,724 --> 01:06:17,452 Will you go? 793 01:06:17,476 --> 01:06:19,494 And what if I don't, what then? 794 01:06:19,518 --> 01:06:20,495 Well, I couldn't blame you. 795 01:06:20,519 --> 01:06:22,414 All I can say is, that I'm depending on you 796 01:06:22,438 --> 01:06:26,418 more than I've depended on anyone else before ever. 797 01:06:26,442 --> 01:06:27,836 Please. 798 01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,212 All right, I'll go. 799 01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:32,948 But it's the last time you'll make a monkey out of me. 800 01:06:32,990 --> 01:06:34,509 You know that statue you told me about? 801 01:06:34,533 --> 01:06:38,746 Well, tell 'em to carve on it, "Painless Potter. Shmo." 802 01:06:39,246 --> 01:06:41,224 I'll be seeing you. You too. 803 01:06:41,248 --> 01:06:42,476 Hey, look! Hey, what's that? 804 01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:44,728 Some other guy you kissed? I'll explain later. 805 01:06:44,752 --> 01:06:45,812 There's no time for questions now. 806 01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:49,357 Please trust in me. Oh, but I don't understand this whole situation. 807 01:06:49,381 --> 01:06:51,276 Please, please. All right, I'm goin'. 808 01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:53,904 Don't get the idea that I'm scared or nervous. 809 01:06:53,928 --> 01:06:56,597 Because I'm not... Wait! 810 01:06:57,598 --> 01:06:59,659 Because I'm not! 811 01:06:59,683 --> 01:07:01,602 Who... 812 01:07:33,842 --> 01:07:38,973 Shh! Shh! Get out of here before I sic a mouse on you. 813 01:07:44,436 --> 01:07:46,063 Shh! 814 01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:01,829 Shh! 815 01:09:11,190 --> 01:09:13,275 Hey, they got dynamite... 816 01:09:17,279 --> 01:09:18,739 Joe. 817 01:09:19,323 --> 01:09:21,075 Fool. 818 01:09:43,263 --> 01:09:44,932 Whoa. 819 01:09:56,443 --> 01:09:58,213 We've got to get this stuff out of here fast. 820 01:09:58,237 --> 01:10:02,282 We're using the dentist's wagon in case there's a slip up. 821 01:10:28,392 --> 01:10:30,561 Come on. Hurry it up. 822 01:10:42,197 --> 01:10:44,032 Take it easy. 823 01:10:48,036 --> 01:10:51,349 Reach, you varmints, or I'll tattoo you the hard way. 824 01:10:51,373 --> 01:10:54,185 Aha! I know all about you and your dynamite. 825 01:10:54,209 --> 01:10:55,812 You were gonna give it to the Indians, huh? 826 01:10:55,836 --> 01:10:58,898 Well, now I'm gonna to take you down to the sheriff's office 827 01:10:58,922 --> 01:11:02,193 and have a little talk about your future, if any. 828 01:11:02,217 --> 01:11:04,696 Now get goin'! 829 01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:07,181 Painless Potter rides again. 830 01:12:07,199 --> 01:12:09,201 Whoo-hoo! 831 01:12:12,412 --> 01:12:16,625 And then I found out that you were captured too. 832 01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:18,144 I'd been meaning to tell you anyway, 833 01:12:18,168 --> 01:12:22,357 and hearing those drums, I figured this was my last chance. 834 01:12:22,381 --> 01:12:25,759 Then it wasn't me that shot all those Indians? 835 01:12:27,261 --> 01:12:29,972 And I didn't even shoot Joe? 836 01:12:30,347 --> 01:12:32,224 And any minute I could've been killed? 837 01:12:36,353 --> 01:12:38,772 Now I worry. 838 01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:42,794 Sayin' I'm sorry is like spittin' in your eye, 839 01:12:42,818 --> 01:12:44,611 and I'm sayin' it. 840 01:12:45,195 --> 01:12:46,256 Me, a hero. 841 01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:50,284 Boy, I couldn't save a clam from a bowl of chowder. 842 01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:52,762 I bet I handed you a lot of laughs. 843 01:12:52,786 --> 01:12:54,681 What a sucker I've been. What a boob. 844 01:12:54,705 --> 01:12:58,601 There ain't low enough words for what I've done to you painless. 845 01:12:58,625 --> 01:13:01,521 There are now. I just thought of a couple of new ones. 846 01:13:01,545 --> 01:13:06,234 All the time I thought you were about the finest thing that ever came into my life. 847 01:13:06,258 --> 01:13:08,802 That's what sticks in my craw. 848 01:13:09,970 --> 01:13:11,573 Painless... 849 01:13:11,597 --> 01:13:12,615 What now? 850 01:13:12,639 --> 01:13:15,827 There's one more thing I gotta tell you. 851 01:13:15,851 --> 01:13:18,454 I gotta tell you that I love you. 852 01:13:18,478 --> 01:13:20,355 What's this, another laugh? 853 01:13:20,397 --> 01:13:21,499 No. 854 01:13:21,523 --> 01:13:25,461 I think you're the kindest, bravest man I've ever known. 855 01:13:25,485 --> 01:13:26,380 Oh, sure. 856 01:13:26,404 --> 01:13:32,135 And I want to tell you this now, because we may not get out of this alive. 857 01:13:32,159 --> 01:13:35,162 Yeah, well, if it hadn't been for you. 858 01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:42,419 Hey. Well, what do you know. 859 01:13:52,930 --> 01:13:54,032 What's the matter? 860 01:13:54,056 --> 01:13:56,725 No stars. Oh! 861 01:14:01,563 --> 01:14:05,359 Hiya! Hiya! Hiya! 862 01:14:16,286 --> 01:14:18,389 Maybe he's... 863 01:14:18,413 --> 01:14:19,807 Hey! 864 01:14:19,831 --> 01:14:22,602 What's the matter, you tryin' to dirty my scalp, 865 01:14:22,626 --> 01:14:24,145 even before you get it? 866 01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:26,380 Whoa! 867 01:14:35,764 --> 01:14:37,241 How. 868 01:14:37,265 --> 01:14:38,534 Not so good. 869 01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:40,203 Me Yellow Feather. 870 01:14:40,227 --> 01:14:41,663 Me chief of tribe. 871 01:14:41,687 --> 01:14:43,748 Me greet Paleface warrior. 872 01:14:43,772 --> 01:14:46,918 Oh! Well, I think you got the wrong person. 873 01:14:46,942 --> 01:14:48,735 She's the... 874 01:14:49,486 --> 01:14:52,715 Yeah. Me very big Paleface warrior. 875 01:14:52,739 --> 01:14:54,801 You strong here. 876 01:14:54,825 --> 01:14:56,803 Yeah, heap big heap. 877 01:14:56,827 --> 01:15:01,891 Paleface more brave than all white warriors. 878 01:15:01,915 --> 01:15:03,851 Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. 879 01:15:03,875 --> 01:15:08,690 Yellow Feather know you kill 11 his best braves. 880 01:15:08,714 --> 01:15:09,650 Fifteen! 881 01:15:09,674 --> 01:15:10,984 Painless, tell him the truth. 882 01:15:11,008 --> 01:15:12,276 Eleven. That's not what I mean. 883 01:15:12,300 --> 01:15:14,237 Yellow Feather, he didn't have anything to do with this. 884 01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:17,824 I got him into the whole thing. 885 01:15:17,848 --> 01:15:19,433 Let her breathe. 886 01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:23,162 Paleface warrior get much praise. 887 01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:25,480 My tribe make big honor. 888 01:15:25,522 --> 01:15:26,523 Fine! 889 01:15:27,649 --> 01:15:31,421 Yellow Feather, please! No, not that! Not to him! 890 01:15:31,445 --> 01:15:32,880 Huh? How. 891 01:15:32,904 --> 01:15:34,698 Yeah, I'll let you know. 892 01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:43,599 I don't know what he said, but it didn't sound like he was inviting me to a picnic. 893 01:15:43,623 --> 01:15:45,393 What did he say? 894 01:15:45,417 --> 01:15:46,978 I'd rather not talk about it. 895 01:15:47,002 --> 01:15:48,354 Yeah, but I don't like surprises. 896 01:15:48,378 --> 01:15:51,816 Am I gonna get shot by arrows? Burned at the stake? 897 01:15:51,840 --> 01:15:53,109 Boiled in a pot? 898 01:15:53,133 --> 01:15:55,427 Am I getting warm? 899 01:15:57,804 --> 01:15:59,782 Painless, can you take it? 900 01:15:59,806 --> 01:16:01,617 No, but tell me anyway. 901 01:16:01,641 --> 01:16:07,707 Well, with Indians, the bigger hero you are, the greater the torture. 902 01:16:07,731 --> 01:16:09,667 Yeah, but what can they do? 903 01:16:09,691 --> 01:16:11,669 What's left? 904 01:16:11,693 --> 01:16:13,445 Well... 905 01:16:15,864 --> 01:16:17,657 Two trees. 906 01:16:18,033 --> 01:16:19,927 They bend one tree down. 907 01:16:19,951 --> 01:16:22,537 Then they bend the other tree down. 908 01:16:22,579 --> 01:16:25,475 They tie one of your legs to this tree. 909 01:16:25,499 --> 01:16:25,851 Mine? 910 01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:29,896 Then, they tie your other leg to this tree. 911 01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:32,297 Then they cut the ropes. 912 01:16:34,549 --> 01:16:36,843 That's me? 913 01:16:38,178 --> 01:16:41,348 If I were a chicken bone, I could make a wish. 914 01:16:45,227 --> 01:16:47,896 At a time like this he has to be off-key. 915 01:16:51,024 --> 01:16:54,027 Don't pull. You'll get your half. 916 01:17:03,745 --> 01:17:08,041 Yeah, that's your story. 917 01:17:14,548 --> 01:17:17,008 It's time I told you I'm not this brave. 918 01:17:17,843 --> 01:17:21,930 Just think. I'll be traveling east and west at the same time. 919 01:17:23,557 --> 01:17:24,243 Painless! Painless! 920 01:17:24,267 --> 01:17:28,871 Oh, don't worry, honey. Maybe in the next world you'll meet two nice fellas. 921 01:17:28,895 --> 01:17:31,982 Look close. They'll both be me. 922 01:17:35,569 --> 01:17:36,570 Let's be fair. 923 01:17:59,426 --> 01:18:01,946 Wapato, medicine bad. 924 01:18:01,970 --> 01:18:05,366 Shame us with white squaw. 925 01:18:05,390 --> 01:18:06,492 Go. 926 01:18:06,516 --> 01:18:08,268 You not come back! 927 01:18:23,575 --> 01:18:25,136 Oh! 928 01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:27,662 Help! 929 01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:30,498 Help. Help. 930 01:18:49,434 --> 01:18:51,811 I better get goin'. 931 01:18:52,979 --> 01:18:53,373 Jane! 932 01:18:53,397 --> 01:18:56,959 She's still there, and it's up to me to save her. 933 01:18:56,983 --> 01:18:57,753 Hold it, impulsive. 934 01:18:57,777 --> 01:19:01,088 If those Indians grab you, you know what'll happen to you. 935 01:19:01,112 --> 01:19:02,465 And we don't like that, do we? 936 01:19:02,489 --> 01:19:04,592 What are you, a man or a mouse? 937 01:19:04,616 --> 01:19:07,637 I'm not a mouse, and I'm not a man. I'm a dentist. 938 01:19:07,661 --> 01:19:09,388 Yeah, but the girl loves you. 939 01:19:09,412 --> 01:19:11,682 Yeah. Yeah, and I love her too. 940 01:19:11,706 --> 01:19:14,894 But if they get me, my life won't be worth a plugged nickel. 941 01:19:14,918 --> 01:19:17,146 What'll your life be worth without her? 942 01:19:17,170 --> 01:19:19,815 Oh, now don't get sentimental with me. 943 01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:20,858 Let's look at it logically. 944 01:19:20,882 --> 01:19:24,862 If I go back there, those Indians'll part my hair clear down to my toes. 945 01:19:24,886 --> 01:19:25,656 How can that help Jane? 946 01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:28,366 Suit yourself. If you think you can spend those long evenings 947 01:19:28,390 --> 01:19:32,578 just thinkin' about how you might have saved her, it's all right with me. 948 01:19:32,602 --> 01:19:33,663 Aw, stop. Stop. I'll go. 949 01:19:33,687 --> 01:19:36,499 But don't forget I'll always hate you for bein' so stubborn. 950 01:19:36,523 --> 01:19:40,068 Besides, I have to pick up my other boot. 951 01:19:57,252 --> 01:19:59,296 Oh! 952 01:20:15,395 --> 01:20:15,956 How. 953 01:20:15,980 --> 01:20:17,957 Now, would you like to trade? 954 01:20:17,981 --> 01:20:20,376 Clothes? Me take those, huh? 955 01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:21,400 Like that? 956 01:20:22,694 --> 01:20:25,405 Why, you! 957 01:20:37,334 --> 01:20:41,129 I got 'im. I got 'im. Ya-hoo-hoo-hoo! 958 01:20:54,726 --> 01:20:55,911 How. How. 959 01:20:55,935 --> 01:20:56,246 How. 960 01:20:56,270 --> 01:20:59,290 Well, Chief, this completes our part of the bargain. 961 01:20:59,314 --> 01:21:02,001 You bring long rifles, dynamite? 962 01:21:02,025 --> 01:21:05,111 An ample supply. All is in order. 963 01:21:07,947 --> 01:21:09,383 You low-down stinkin' little coyote. 964 01:21:09,407 --> 01:21:13,429 So you're the one I've been lookin' for! Hold her! Hold her! 965 01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:14,805 Well, 966 01:21:14,829 --> 01:21:16,140 that's your federal agent. 967 01:21:16,164 --> 01:21:18,976 What are you gonna to do with her? Burn. 968 01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:21,896 It'll take more than a governor's pardon to save you now. 969 01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:24,881 Rat! 970 01:21:32,847 --> 01:21:35,433 Come. We talk. 971 01:22:16,099 --> 01:22:18,143 Hubby, hubby. 972 01:22:18,268 --> 01:22:19,162 Hubby, hubby. 973 01:22:19,186 --> 01:22:22,498 ♪ East is east Please don't crack ♪ 974 01:22:22,522 --> 01:22:25,233 ♪ This is your hubby Painless ♪ 975 01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:30,196 Hubby, hubby. 976 01:22:30,613 --> 01:22:32,675 Medicine Man come back. 977 01:22:32,699 --> 01:22:36,202 Burn him. Burn him with White Squaw. 978 01:23:07,150 --> 01:23:08,359 Hey! 979 01:23:09,819 --> 01:23:12,071 Yeah! Ho-ho. 980 01:23:13,531 --> 01:23:15,384 You don't know what you're doing. 981 01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:16,927 Don't worry. I'll save you. 982 01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:19,555 Who they gonna burn over there? The Medicine Man. 983 01:23:19,579 --> 01:23:22,766 Serves him right for practicing without a license. 984 01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:23,893 Yahoo! 985 01:23:23,917 --> 01:23:24,728 I got 'em fooled, all right. 986 01:23:24,752 --> 01:23:28,856 Yeah, they think you're the Medicine Man they're gonna burn at the stake. 987 01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:31,132 Ya... Ya... Ya... 988 01:23:32,050 --> 01:23:33,593 Me? 989 01:23:47,357 --> 01:23:50,693 Don't move. I'll try to lead 'em away. 990 01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,072 Something might work out. 991 01:24:24,352 --> 01:24:27,146 What's the matter with you? 992 01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:34,612 - Why, you crazy Indian! - We're too strong. 993 01:25:09,147 --> 01:25:10,773 Sorry, ma'am. 994 01:25:14,944 --> 01:25:16,195 How. 995 01:25:40,553 --> 01:25:41,888 Didn't I tell you I'd save you? 996 01:25:52,899 --> 01:25:56,003 Boy, it smells like somebody's been cooking cauliflower in here. 997 01:25:56,027 --> 01:25:57,713 Come on. Get out of here. 998 01:25:57,737 --> 01:25:59,530 I'll see you around. 999 01:26:03,409 --> 01:26:05,495 Hey, fellas, wait for me. 1000 01:26:33,106 --> 01:26:36,085 Grab a rifle and start shootin'! 1001 01:26:36,109 --> 01:26:37,777 Yeah. 1002 01:26:42,490 --> 01:26:44,218 Give me one of those guns! 1003 01:26:44,242 --> 01:26:44,969 Yes, ma'am. 1004 01:26:44,993 --> 01:26:46,303 Take any size you want, honey. 1005 01:26:46,327 --> 01:26:49,932 Why, we'll get... Get back. It's not safe. 1006 01:26:49,956 --> 01:26:51,666 Yes, ma'am. 1007 01:26:52,792 --> 01:26:56,295 They're walkin' right into our trap. 1008 01:27:03,636 --> 01:27:05,763 A billiard! 1009 01:27:10,560 --> 01:27:13,187 Pretty tricky, those foreigners. 1010 01:27:21,821 --> 01:27:23,990 Where's my rifle? 1011 01:27:38,171 --> 01:27:42,550 They wanted dynamite, huh? Well, I'll give it to 'em. 1012 01:27:55,313 --> 01:27:57,064 Must've been a dud. 1013 01:28:43,903 --> 01:28:46,906 Hey, faster! They're gaining on us! 1014 01:28:47,824 --> 01:28:49,218 Hey, get up in front! 1015 01:28:49,242 --> 01:28:51,744 You're supposed to be pullin'! 1016 01:28:52,203 --> 01:28:53,788 Hey! 1017 01:28:53,913 --> 01:28:55,849 Jump, Painless! Jump! 1018 01:28:55,873 --> 01:28:57,601 If I jump, I'll get killed! 1019 01:28:57,625 --> 01:29:00,086 But the dynamite! 1020 01:29:00,753 --> 01:29:04,423 Rigor mortis, here I come! Ooh! 1021 01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:13,432 Get Martin off that wagon! 1022 01:29:22,358 --> 01:29:24,277 That's the last of 'em. 1023 01:29:28,990 --> 01:29:32,285 Darn it! There goes my dental diploma. 1024 01:29:35,037 --> 01:29:36,998 Here they come now! 1025 01:29:40,251 --> 01:29:43,981 Don't get excited. I'll be back in a year or so. Don't worry. 1026 01:29:44,005 --> 01:29:45,399 Our hero. 1027 01:29:45,423 --> 01:29:47,401 Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Potter. 1028 01:29:47,425 --> 01:29:49,111 Silly girl. 1029 01:29:49,135 --> 01:29:51,762 You gotta expect this kind of thing. 1030 01:29:55,850 --> 01:30:00,646 Let's not overdo it. I know I deserve it. But steady, men. 1031 01:30:01,272 --> 01:30:04,317 Take it out of the bags, fellas. 1032 01:30:05,359 --> 01:30:08,088 Honey, I'll drive. Yeah, you drive and I'll watch. 1033 01:30:08,112 --> 01:30:12,491 Finally going on your honeymoon? Am I! Yahoo! 1034 01:30:16,579 --> 01:30:19,415 What do you want? A happy ending?